he never misses a beat

HEY YALL. ITS FRIDAY NOW AND HERE IT IS 1 AM IN THE MORNING AND IM BLOGGIN!! I WANTED TO SHARE WITH YALL MY SUCCESSFUL DAY THAT I HAD YESTERDAY. IT WAS NOT FILLED WITH ANGER, DEPRESSION, ANNOYANCE, INTERRUPTION--NONE OF IT. I HAD A LOT OF PEACEFUL QUIET TIME, WHICH I YEARN FOR. I ALSO FINISHED CLEANING ALL OF THE LAUNDRY IN THE HOUSE WHICH IS A MASSIVE ACCOMPLISHMENT! IT IS SO HARD TO KEEP UP THE LAUNDRY OF 4 ADULTS! YESTERDAY EVENING ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS CAME OVER AND WE BAKED AND PACKAGED THE FRUITY PEBBLE TREATS FOR THE BAKE SALE THIS WEEKEND. THE AMOUNT OF SUPPORT HAS BEEN OVERWHELMING! ITS LITERALLY BREATHTAKING. SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE VOLUNTEERED TO HELP US, THEY HAVE DONATED GOOD, THEIR TIME, OR MONEY.....ALL OF IT HAS BROUGHT US TO THIS POINT AND ITS JUST TREMENDOUS HOW ACCOMPLISHED WE ALREADY HAVE BEEN IN SUCH A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. AS THE DAYS DRAW NEAR, REALITY REALLY SINKS IN....THIS IS GOING TO BE A HARD ROAD.

I WAS TALKING WITH MY SISTER THE OTHER DAY WHEN SHE CAME OVER. I HAD COUNSELING THAT DAY AND I WAS REALLY "FEELING MY INNER SELF." NEEDLESS TO SAY I WAS TRYING TO INSPIRE HER TO SEEK HELP HERSELF. NOTHING IS WRONG WITH HER. BUT I DEFINITELY BELIEVE THAT SHE NEEDS HEALING TOO. WHAT WE EXPERIENCED AS CHILDREN SHOULD HAVE NEVER HAPPENED. THE SAD PART IS THAT THERE IS NOTHING WE COULD HAVE DONE TO PREVENT IT. ANYWAYS, AFTER COUNSELING THE OTHER DAY I WANTED TO TALK WITH AMBER. SHE IS ABOUT TO ENDURE A LIFE CHANGING EVENT THAT WILL FOREVER MOLD HER FUTURE INTO SOMETHING RADICALLY DIFFERENT THAT ANY ONE OF US COULD HAVE EVER IMAGINED. I KNOW THIS JOURNEY IS GOING TO BE A DAILY STRUGGLE FOR HER. I KNOW HOW MUCH ANGER STIRS INSIDE OF HER. SHE HAD IT BAD. BUT I ALSO WANT HER TO REACH OUT AND GO FOR IT. I REALIZE THAT IT MAY TAKE TIME...BUT GOING TO COUNSELING HAS HELPED ME TREMENDOUSLY AND I SO BADLY WANT THAT FOR HER TOO. I WANT HER TO HAVE A GRIP ON HER SELF WHEN MY MOTHER STARTS STIRRING THE POT. I WANT HER TO REALIZE THAT SELF CONTROL OF HER ANGER IS POSSIBLE. SHE EXERCISES IT EVERYDAY, AND WITH HELP OR PROPER GUIDANCE SHE CAN GAIN THAT WITH MY MOTHER ALSO. WE BOTH HAVE THE SAME GOAL IN MIND--TO BE THE BEST MOTHERS WE CAN TO OUR CHILDREN. MY VOID WILL NEVER BE FILLED. HER VOID--MY BROTHERS VoiD--WILL NEVER BE FILLED. THE ONLY THING WE CAN DO IS ACCEPT WHAT WE CANNOT CHANGE AND TRY TO BREAK THE CYCLE WITHIN OUR OWN LIVES. I ASPIRE TO BE THE BEST ME POSSIBLE, EVEN IF THAT MEANS ADMITTING MY FAULTS AND THE THINGS THAT I AM ASHAMED OF. I SHARE THEM WITH YOU BECAUSE AT THE END OF THE DAY GOD NEVER MISSES A BEAT :) HE ALWAYS SEES THE BIG PICTURE!

WITH LOVE--
JESS