Here we are in 2011. Mothers Day just passed and it was bitter sweet--bitter because I hate my mom but sweet because I love her as much as I hate her. I know, screwed up! Anyways, Mothers Day just passed 3 days ago and for the last 3 days I have been dreading the thought of writing this blog. I have dreaded writing this for multiple reasons. Feelings of helplessness, fear, and anger surface when I think about this particular day that occurred about 12 years ago. I could get a more precise timeline but I dont want to call my mother to ask her. So here it goes...
About 12 years ago I was about 11 or 12 years old. My family irregularly attended a church and that church had "mother daughter banquets." Needless to say I went to a couple of them with my mom, maw maw, and aunts. They always fell around Mothers day and this particular one would stand out in my mind forever.
The day came for the mothers day banquet. My mom, sis, and me were all getting ready to go to it. While we were getting ready I went into my moms room and sat on her bed. The bed was right next to her vanity. I dont know what I did or DIDNT do but as i was sitting on the bed my mom started yelling at me and hit me on the leg with her curling iron which was on. It burned like hell and needless to say I have a scar about 3 inches wide across my right thigh where my mother burned me with her curling iron.
I assume she did this because I did something wrong. You see, the irony here is that I dont remember any thing leading up to her burning me or anything after. I just remember her doing it and staring at my scar for the last decade.
Also, I thought when i wrote this blog that it would make me cry or make me upset or it would be really draining (most of my blogs are all of these things) BUT this one was different. I cant write a long post b/c i dont know the events surrounding the burn. What I DO KNOW is that while writing this blog i feel angry. Angry at my mom for being such an insensitive cold hearted bitch. YOU NEVER HAVE ANY REASON TO BURN YOUR CHILD WITH A CURLING IRON! I could understand if her life were in fear or if i was a troubled child but i wasnt. She was an angry bitch and took it out on me, and my scar shows that. Good news is that most of my scars are "hidden" but not this one. It stands out like a sore thumb to me.
happy mothers day mom. i hope i can find it in my heart to forgive you.
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