its 1:27 am. im pissed. i have no clue why. i didnt do anything today--no work, no cleaning in the house....i cooked dinner, did a couple loads of laundry and played on the internet. around 12 am i started doing the dishes and managed to complete all of them. however, in the process of me doing the dishes i got pissed (somehow or another) ....i was too hot, my shirt was sticking to my fat roll, i didnt have enough room to clean all the dishes and put them on the counters to dry...the list goes on and on...all stupid shit to be mad about. no reason at all to be mad.
i have been in a "funk" for the last 3 days and i cant seem to get out of it. im definitly going to try and go to counseling tomorrow so i can work through this. im frustrated because i dont even know what the driving force is behind this anger...normally i can identify why i am mad or at least find a temporary solution. Tonight, for some reason, it just came over me and i couldnt fight it. after i got a bit mad, i asked damien to move a chair for me. i got even more mad because he didnt move the chair fast enough for me. this lead to me screaming at him about his nonresponsiveness to me be upset. this made things that much worse. now i sit on my bed and watch him go through his nightly routine as i type this. im going to say my prayers, tell god how angry i am right now and im going to go to bed and make a conscious choice to wake up tomorrow on the right side of the bed. goodnight.
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